We do not stand alone. We are meant to find each other. Kathy McGovern

I’m back on the road for work, traveling around and enjoying being part of community in diverse and varying settings. My kids are active and happy, and Brigid and I try to pace ourselves through to the end of the school year in early June. God is good.

I have recently begun walking our puppy Bingo in the mornings. This delightful return to a precious routine of mine (with our last dog) grounds me. As a 7 month old dog, Bingo still experiences the normal in exciting and profound ways. I find myself noticing the sounds of birds, pedestrians, and cars in refreshing ways. My discipline of walking to start my day is one of my most centering activities….and it is nice to have company again as I walk through my neighborhood each day.

I am happy to share this entertaining clip of a Matt Damon interview on a recent Stephen Colbert episode. Stephen’s final question if Matt asks: “Describe the rest of your life in five words.” Matt responded, “Family. Friends. Work. Service. Joy.” That about sums it up to me!

Blessings on your week ahead!

A city is not gauged by its length and width, but by the broadness of its vision and the height of its dreams. -Herb Caen

This morning I read the below article about San Francisco and thought to myself, finally, an optimistic view of the city I love! As I enter into this Easter weekend ahead, I find the tenor of this article speaks to the hope and optimism of the Resurrection that Christians celebrate soon. Enjoy the article and blessings on your week ahead!

I just moved to San Francisco. Yes, it has issues, but this city is still a dream

Since moving to San Francisco from Sacramento last month, I’ve walked 10,000 steps almost every day, attended incredible shows and performances on weekends, and gone for frequent runs along the Embarcadero with this-will-never-get-old views of the bay on one side and Coit Tower on the other. I’ve eaten bullfrog at a famed Sichuan restaurant in Chinatown and clinked after-work drinks with friends at the Top of the Mark, soaking in the 360-degree views of the city. 

Waiting in crushes of people to cross the street, I’ve had fascinating chats with strangers about everything from dating in the city to their favorite restaurants. I’ve boarded buses at 11:30 p.m., fearing they might be deserted and possibly dangerous, only to find them brimming with people and conversation. 

In other words, it doesn’t feel like I’ve moved to a city in decline. 

Yes, San Francisco is entrenched in one of the most challenging moments in its history. To hear many people tell it, the city is a ghost of its former self. And yet, even in its diminished state — record-high office vacancyshuttered storefronts, an increasingly devastating drug overdose death toll — the city still pulses with vitality. 

It’s an energy markedly different from other American cities I’ve lived in. Sacramento, where I spent the past four years, is undergoing a renaissance. Its population is rapidly increasing, largely due to Bay Area transplants, and its embrace of aggressive pro-housing policies is helping to revitalize its pandemic-battered downtown. Yet the city still feels suburban; it’s spread out and car-centric and fewer people are out and about, especially at night.

Philadelphia, where I went to college, is physically much larger than San Francisco, making its energy more diffuse. By contrast, dense and walkable San Francisco reminds me of a compressed spring always on the cusp of releasing its built-up energy.

I grew up in the East Bay, so I always knew San Francisco was beautiful. But living in the city, you’re constantly confronted by its beauty in new and surprising ways. The other day, not long before sunset, I went running along an unplanned route. Cresting a random hill, I stopped in my tracks as I unexpectedly entered a steeply terraced park — Ina Coolbrith Park, I later learned — that offered stunning views of Alcatraz and a glittering panorama of the city skyline. I stood in disbelief, catching my breath as orange and pink sunbeams melted together and slowly turned purple.  

I’ve been to Fisherman’s Wharf countless times, but only recently did I stumble upon the Musée Mécanique, a free museum filled with antique arcade games — some hundreds of years old — that are still in working condition and can be played for just a quarter or two. (Some are almost comically raunchy, including one that offers the chance to peep at “XXX images.”) The museum’s existence felt like a small miracle. At a time when stories of destruction and theft fill the news, how lovely it was to find proof of the public’s gentleness in the careful handling of the old machines, which are in near-pristine condition.  

And then there is the energy that emanates from the city’s people, best experienced by walking or taking public transit. I relied heavily on my car in Sacramento, and although I was reluctant to give it up when I moved to San Francisco — where else was I going to sing at the top of my lungs? — I’ve quickly come to realize the extent to which it sealed me off from my surroundings. There’s a sense of community, camaraderie and connectedness that comes from joining masses of people on sidewalks and streetcars: the faces, styles and personalities you see; the snippets of intriguing conversations you overhear; the little shops and restaurants you discover. 

It’s undeniable that this city is special. And yet San Francisco’s intrinsic allure — and the sense that it is too singular to fail — can also feed complacency.  

Why did the city need to sell itself to prospective residents and businesses, when its beauty and benefits were so evident? People were willing to pay nearly any price to be here, so what did it matter if convoluted bureaucratic processes made it absurdly difficult to do everything from obtaining a parking permit to opening a small business to building new housing? What did it matter if entire neighborhoods, such as the Tenderloin and the South of Market, were de-facto containment zones for the city’s homelessness, mental health and drug overdose epidemics? 

Just being in San Francisco was worth it — until, for many, it wasn’t. 

Since the COVID pandemic changed the ways we live and work, city officials have put forth numerous ideas to fill empty storefronts and lure people back downtown, including opening college campusesrelaxing retail zoning requirementswaiving fees for new businesses and making it easier to convert office buildings into apartments. Most of these plans, however, are still in their infancy, and their ultimate impact remains unclear. 

Living here, I see the city’s challenges more clearly than ever. And yet I also sense a fierce hunger for togetherness. Why else, a few weekends ago, would tens of thousands of people, myself included, wait for hours in a line snaking around Union Square for the chance at a couple of free tulips?  

Yes, San Francisco is struggling. But the buzz of energy and potential here is impossible to miss. If this is truly San Francisco at its lowest, well, I can’t wait to see the highs to come. 

Reach Emily Hoeven: emily.hoeven@sfchronicle.com; Twitter: @emily_hoeven

March 28, 2024

To see the miracle in the ordinary is a more precious gift than prophecy. -Abraham Verghese

This week I’m sharing a reflection on prayer and discernment that grounded me in my thinking this week. Blessings on your week ahead!

By definition, discernment is all about prayer. If I am to discern well, I must have a prayer life. Having a prayer life involves more than simply praying every day. It is a core experience of my day-to-day life. Prayer does not necessarily take up a lot of my time, but it does take up a lot of my interior space, in terms of its impact on the whole of my life. I understand prayer as crucial to my well-being. When a companion sincerely asks, “How are you?” the state of my prayer life will be an important part of my answer. It is almost as if my prayer life were a person with whom I am in a loving relationship: I care for it, nurture it, and give my whole heart to it. My prayer life, in turn, nurtures me, grounds me, and gives me direction. Sad to say, I also neglect my prayer life. I get bored with it and tussle with it. Sometimes we just don’t get along. But I am always in relationship with it.

A prayer life doesn’t have to be mystical, beautiful, or inspirational. Even to seasoned pray‑ers this spiritual habit often seems quite ordinary and uneventful. What is crucial is the prayer’s importance to the one doing the praying. All that matters is that a person pray a little every day in order to grow closer to the God, who very dearly desires to grow closer to that person.

—Excerpted from God’s Voice Within by Mark E. Thibodeaux, SJ

To successfully build culture where people want to do more, leaders must invest in their people and abide by the laws of the harvest in doing so. -Salome Thomas-El

I headed into the office this morning for some head space, time in the car, and a focus upon just two timely projects. Plus my kids have off from school today so accomplishing the same projects in my home office would have presented its own challenges! While driving, I always appreciate the chance to think and gain perspective.

This week I am happy to share this video below as a resource for reflection. As the quote indicates, investing time into our own “harvesting” improves impact. As someone in the people business, witnessing the beauty in the images of this video- from Yosemite National Park, one of my favorite places on earth – grounds me in in the importance of appreciating the beauty of now. Blessings on your week ahead!

Much of hearing God’s voice begins with noticing. It begins with naming the reality that life is busy and full and that there are many distractions and voices in our lives. -Becky Eldredge

During quarantine, our kids introduced us to Powfu, a hip-hop/pop artist from Vancouver. This 20-something Canadian rapper portrays a positive message about life, relationships, and community. We attended his concert as a family earlier this week, and – other than feeling really old at an all ages show!- my wife and I thoroughly enjoyed sharing this music with our children and all the other young adults. I’ve embedded a clip from the concert below, where we learned that it turns out Isaiah (his real name) is Christian. Who knew.

I am also pleased to share an excerpt from Ann Garrido’s new book (below). When I read it, I immediately thought of recent events in my rollercoaster of life as a spouse, parent, sibling/cousin/nephew, friend, and educator. Aren’t we all just doing the best we can??? I thought if this point often on my morning walks last week at a conference in Florida, where I am always struck buy the vibrancy of the plants (depicted).

Blessings on your week ahead!

From Ann Garrido’s Redeeming Power:

In our exercise of Christian leadership, we find ourselves seeking a healthy and holy middle ground…in short, we do the best we can. “One of the things I’ve come to realize,” a school principal told me, “is that every day requires something slightly different from me. Sometimes me being merciful with a particular family that has trespassd every boundary is a way I can help bring about greater justice in society as a whole, and sometimes me being just and drawing a strong boundary with a student is the greatest mercy I could do for them and their future. I’m always struggling to get it right.”

We all are.

Persistence overcomes resistence. -Principal El

This week I enjoyed learning alongside colleagues at an annual conference of school administrators. Principal El was one of the highlights for me, as he shared many stories and lessons learned from his time as a principal in urban Philadelphia. Following his keynote, he sought me out for a picture because he couldn’t understand how a person with “San Francisco” on his name tag could “get” so many of his Philly references throughout his talk…..the picture made me smile on many fronts, so I need to follow up with that colleague to ask for a digital copy. I invite you to go ahead and check out Principal El when you can.

I am happy to share this brief reflection on “Discernment” as well. I often find myself doing some of my most thorough reflection during this season of Lent, and so I encourage us to take to heart Vinita Hampton Wright’s questions below. Blessings on your week ahead!

DISCERNMENT

Discernment does not seem to come naturally to a lot of people. We make decisions all the time based on the moment’s emotion, sensory overload, pressure from others, whatever seems easiest, and so on. For major decisions, we apply more reason and search the heart a bit more, and probably ask others for advice.
Like any other personal quality or virtue, discernment can be developed through intention and practice. A first step is to look at your past decisions and ask a couple of questions:
What factors do I rely on most when making a decision—how I feel, what makes the most sense, what is most positive financially?What factors do I tend not to include when I’m in discernment mode—intuition, spiritual aspects of the situation, advice from people I consider wise, my general direction or personal mission?
—Excerpted from Small Simple Ways by Vinita Hampton Wright

“Whenever we have the opportunity, let us work for the good of all.” -Galatians 6:10

Last week I listened to an excellent podcast from one of my regulars in the podcast rotation, We Can Do Hard Things. Actor Dan Levy provided funny, insightful commentary on the topic of “No One Knows What They’re Doing.” I felt relieved once I heard the title of the show:) In particular, I welcomed Dan’s reflective insights into grief; Dan stated, “Grief is not about resolution, it’s about loving your way through it.”

This morning I was pleased to read the below Lenten reflection in my inbox. I’m on a red eye flight tomorrow to spend time with family and also travel for work throughout the week ahead. I hope this excerpt grounds me, and you, in the importance of taking the time for reflection in the midst of all the business. Blessings on your week ahead!

Letting This Lent Be God’s” 
by Marina Berzins McCoy

A Lent of following God’s lead must be grounded in prayer. We can listen for the voice of God and let ourselves be surprised by what the call in Lent might be. Perhaps we not only contribute to our paper rice bowls with alms for the poor, but also feel God calling us to undertake service work where we build relationships with a community of people outside our comfortable social circles. Or maybe fasting this year means not only the obligatory fasts, but also fasting from judgment when I do not know the inner workings of another’s heart. Perhaps God is calling me to add in a different form of prayer: a few minutes of silence on my lunch break at work, or praying as a family just before the children are tucked into bed.

Or perhaps we will feel the call of God out of the blue in Lent to follow God into some new place. Are we open to letting this Lent be God’s and not our own?

Whatever we believe about ourselves and our ability comes true for us. -Susan L. Taylor

At the risk of seeming cliche, it brings me great joy to reflect on love on this Feast of Saint Valentine. As a Christian Catholic, I also celebrate Ash Wednesday today. This morning I stopped off at a small chapel in San Francisco to attend mass there for the first time…it was on my drive back to my home office after dropping my oldest son off at school. The place was packed, with participants of all shapes, colors and sizes…my heart was content with this experience of God’s Kingdom; the People of God coming together to reflect and pray together, strangers and friends, before bustling off to our jobs for the day.

I share this link here to “When Do Teens Feel Loved By Their Parents?” which reminds me how all of us- teens, and those of us older and those who are younger- have the ability to thrive when we experience love. When we are safe…valued…and contribute purposefully to something other than ourselves, we belong. This is an awesome realization and a lofty daily goal.

This morning I woke up singing this below song, “This is the Day.” It doesn’t exactly fit with the church season of Lent, yet I hummed it to my kids as I made breakfast…one of them is nervous about track team cuts, the other is home sick with a bad head cold, and the other is a pre-teen so every day is an adventure for her. Our puppy ate one of my slippers last night and Brigid and I just try to keep up, with an occasional smile and frequent bursts of laughter when we can. Blessings to you and upon your week ahead!

There is nothing we can do but love, and, dear God, please enlarge our hearts to love each other, to love our neighbor, to love our enemy as our friend. -Dorothy Day

Tomorrow I head out for a three-day leadership development program, one of my favorite workshops to help facilitate. A reflection exercise that we have planned is a self-inventory of gifts and preferences. I think reflective practice is essential to healthy, self-aware leadership. Playing to strengths is also helpful.

From this reflection I pulled the below quote from one of my inspirations, Dorothy Day, to share. She challenges us to prioritize our efforts to those most in need, as God invites us to do. Enjoy and blessings on your week ahead!

A Call to Action: Dorothy Day

“What we would like to do is change the world–make it a little simpler for people to feed, clothe, and shelter themselves as God intended them to do. And, by fighting for better conditions, by crying out unceasingly for the rights of the workers, the poor, of the destitute–the rights of the worthy and the unworthy poor, in other words–we can, to a certain extent, change the world; we can work for the oasis, the little cell of joy and peace in a harried world. We can throw our pebble in the pond and be confident that its ever widening circle will reach around the world. We repeat, there is nothing we can do but love, and, dear God, please enlarge our hearts to love each other, to love our neighbor, to love our enemy as our friend.”

All of us bring light to exciting solutions never tried before, for it is our hope that implores us, at our uncompromising core, to keep rising up for an earth more than worth fighting for. -Amanda Gorman

Our puppy Bingo met her first frisbee yesterday. This unidentified flying object, lying dormant in our backyard, evoked great fear and trepidation on the part of our 16 week old Labrador Retriever. Yet within minutes, once she felt more familiar and safe, Bingo eagerly embraced the frisbee among the collection of toys that occupy her time (and her teething mouth!) while outside.

Bingo’s reaction reminded me of our common primal response to surprise, especially that which might impact our well-being. Fear and anxiety may abound, yet with time, trust and relationships, newness can become known and can feel comfortable. I am leaning into some significant change management at work and so I take this lesson from Bingo to heart. And of course, my home life is a series of constant change management given the lives of our teens/pre-teens. God is good with life’s lessons everywhere…when I pay attention.

I am pleased to share this poem below that I came across earlier this week. It supports my own understanding of “Belonging,” and I especially appreciate the notion of “roundtabling.” May we each embrace this invitation to “roundtable” in our own communities. Enjoy and blessings on your week ahead!

From “In Search of a Roundtable” (1977)

For God has called a People,
not ‘them and us’
‘Them and us’ are unable to gather around,
for at a roundtable, there are no sides
And ALL are invited to wholeness and to food. …

Roundtabling means no preferred seating,
no first & last, 
no better, 
no corners for ‘the least of these’
Roundtabling means being with,
a part of, 
together, 
and one
It means room for the Spirit and gifts
and disturbing profound peace for all.

And it is we in the present
who are mixing and kneading the dough for the future.
We can no longer prepare for the past. …

—Chuck Lathrop